My head is not that clear right now….just saw my best friend’s mom pass away due to breast cancer…she battled it for 6 years…and one day she just got worst and expired, a slow, painful and agonizing death. My own mother battled it and is a suvivor…her sister (my aunt) battled it and lost the fight…so did my maternal grandmother and grandfather. I also learned that someone really close to my life and heart was diagnosed with it just a week ago….a young (in her 30’s) mother. I live touching my breast…i’m obsessed with this horrible sickness…when i wake up, when i shower, as I’m driving….it’s getting to a point that i have my husband touch them to see if he finds any lil lumps…since cancer is “the common death factor” in my maternal family i get ultrasounds on my breasts every 6 months. .They  once found a small lump but after testing, it was benign…(phewww) …..I know that i have to accept this reality and not allow my self to be consumed by this obsession….I also ask myself, when is this epidemic going to end?? what are we eating? drinking? why back in the 80’s you hardly heard the word “cancer” and now is one of the top cause of death…..i don’t understand….do we have to start planting our own food in our back yards? spend hundreds of dollars buying “organic” food in our supermarkets? which i don’t believe what’s so organic about…bueno,  i can’t stop this brutal epidemic…so i will have to live with the fact that i one day probably have it….i will not dwell on it or make it a priority in my life, but be as healthy as i can be…live my life happy and stress free…enjoy my children and husband…give as much as i can give to the needy and stop this obsession that i have…as hard as it sounds, it is my reality….what can i do but let God call all the shots and live my life happy~

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